The 2010 Darwin Awards

8th Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide storm sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.

7th Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when
he ran", accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

6th Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection
from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom,
when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the
beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could
not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost
an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

5th Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a
bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long torch
he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the
base of his skull when he hit the floor.

4th Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends
who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into
his mouth and pull the trigger.

3rd Place
After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing
the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer
was standing at the counter.. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be
robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target
pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire and several
customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was
pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene
investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop.
The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics
identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving
around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the
window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to
notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one
of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a
local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge
at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they
discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham,who
had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of
lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around
Bingham's leg and then tied the other (!) to the bridge. His fall lasted
40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.
He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued
by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up
pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich,
46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema
when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's
unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where
he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate
200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those
freak accidents that proves.... 'shit happens'